So Many Words, So Little Time
by SteelAgainstIvory
Summary: The Random Word Challenge: 25 Words. For the Pharaoh and the Night Guard. Yay! Cute slashieness


**A/N: **I am unsure why, but I like the idea of this pairing. It's totally cute. So, I did a challenge fic. The only rule is I have to use the random word in the scene/sentence/drabble/whatever. And, I like the Pharaoh on top. Call me weird, but it just works like that for me.

**Warning:** This piece of inspiration contains a SLASH pairing. This means male-on-male action. It is also a challenge fic, which is simply me writing a bunch of drabble/ficlets as I can with whatever rules that apply. There may be slight cursing and implications to that of a sexual nature.

**Disclaimer:** SAI does not own Night at the Museum! Like, literally. I don't even have the movie. Sad life for me…

**Summary:** The Random Word Challenge: 25 Words.

**Remember:**

"Talking."

_Thoughts/Or Emphasized Words._

Self-explanatory.

…

**Contaminant**

"Uuuuuuuuuh…" Larry said, blinking down at the floor. McPhee was pointing, brow raised, clearly not amused by the mess. "I know what it looks like, but… it's not?" he tried and failed.

"Just—Just clean this… this—" the man was tripping over his words again.

"Contaminant?" Larry offered. McPhee turned a slight puce, pivoting on his heel quickly. Larry sighed. It honestly _wasn't_ what it looked like. Except that it was… sort of. Jed had taught the cavemen how to draw hearts with the letters A and L in them. It wasn't their fault that the paintings looked like male genitalia.

**Trussing**

Ahkmenrah was slightly surprised to overhear the conversation going on between his favorite night watchmen and his young son. Apparently, the poor boy had been caught at his school with some type of pornographic reading material.

"I don't care whose it was!" Larry declared, exacerbated, "You should have known better than to have it in your backpack!"

"I didn't think about it, I swear!" Nick responded. Larry shook his head, Ahkmenrah strutting up right behind him, crossing his arms as he listened to the bickering. In a desperate attempt the son threw up his hands questioning the Pharaoh, "Women were naked in your time, weren't they?"

Larry spun around, startled, not noticing the man behind him. Ahkmenrah glanced down at the father, who looked very put off already. Shortly he replied, "Not in excess."

Nick let out a frustrated growl and stomped off, calling out for Rexy. Larry shook his head, "It is one thing if it's a simple Playboy, but this was a BDSM mag! His mother flipped out and demanded I talk with him about healthy—"

"BDSM?" Ahkmenrah interrupted. Larry paused, not quite sure how to explain the concept. In the end, Larry decided not to clarify. The Pharaoh later found out it was a modern slang term for the act of trussing up a sexual partner. He kept the idea in mind—just incase.

**Demur**

Roosevelt was quite adamant on several occasions. Yet, Ahkmenrah had a demur on the subject. "Go on, Pharaoh! As they say, 'Knowledge is the greatest power to bestow'," and the like was said on many occasions. It was do no good. Ahkmenrah had been reanimated for several centuries and then some. He was quite aware he would outlive—in a way—his cute little night guard. What good was it to have five minutes of heaven for an eternity of hell afterwards?

**Moppet **

Larry smiled, walking into the scene with a warm fluttering in his chest. There was the Pharaoh—the man whose tablet made all this wonder possible—sitting with his child, delivering the most fanciful tales of his past. It was a shame to interrupt it.

"Hey, bud," Larry greeted, both souls looked up, delighted to see him.

"Yeah, dad?" Nick answered. Larry gestured behind him vaguely.

"Mom's on the phone. She wanted to say goodnight before she went to bed," he explained. Nick hopped off the bench, darting down the corridors to the front entrance where the only phone resided. Absently, Larry watched, then turned back to Ahkmenrah, who was smirking.

"What?" Larry asked, feeling his cheeks heat at those deep eyes staring so fixated on him.

"You're a good father," was the answer.

Larry waved his hand indolently. Kicking his toe at the ground he then glanced back up. "Really?"

"Yes. He is an endearing moppet," Ahkmenrah said, standing to his full height. Larry blinked stupidly.

"Moppet?" he inquired.

"Hmmm? Oh, my apologies. Cambridge slang. He is a charming kid," the Egyptian simplified. Larry only nodded. Too be honest, he had heard the term before. He merely enjoyed listening to Ahkmenrah's pleasant accent.

**Archduke**

Ahkmenrah was not thrilled with the newest addition to the museum. That flop—"Archduke!"—was just too touchy with _his _night guardian.

**Carcinogen**

"I wish you wouldn't smoke…" Larry grumbled. Ahkmenrah glanced over, finding the watchmen walking toward him, the gravel of the roof skittering as he did so.

"Why ever would you wish that?" the ancient questioned. Larry shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, shivering lightly in the cold December wind.

"Well, I guess you wouldn't know, but tobacco is a carcinogen," he said loudly. Ahkmenrah would have shrugged, but instead took another lungful of the cigarette in between his long fingers.

"I do not fret about obtaining diseases," the Pharaoh admitted, exhaling the smoke into the night. The smaller man beside him coughed as wisps encircled him for a moment before disbursing into the sky.

"Okay, yeah, the tablet bringing ya to life and keeping you healthy and all…" there was silence for a beat. Then, "Plus, kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray."

Ahkmenrah looked over at Larry, who realized what he just blurted out. His face was bright red, maybe from the frosty air about them, but it was doubtful when Larry refused to meet the Egyptian's gaze. Finally, with a nod, Ahkmenrah stubbed the cigarette on the roof's rail. Throwing caution out the metaphorical window, he leaned down an inch or two and quickly pecked the night guard on the lips. Larry gasped, Ahkmenrah pulling back with a smile. "I suppose if kissing you is the alternative, I can grant you your wish."

Ahkmenrah walked back into the museum, leaving the stunned Larry behind to wonder if that really just happened.

**Velveteen**

Larry was unsure how it occurred, but there he was, distracted by a simple velveteen costume. It was silly and ridiculous, but Nick demanded going to the store to find something for Halloween. Now all Larry imagined was what Egyptian Kings really wore and how this outfit was _completely_ inaccurate.

**Conurbation**

It never failed to amuse Larry about how the modest conurbation of the museum would soon become a hodgepodge of a family… yeah, he was sort of the mommy and Ahkmenrah was kind of like the daddy, but, other than that—he was amused.

**Newsreel**

Sadly, Larry Daley was infamous at the local library. He would spend hours sitting in the back of the non-fiction section, reading, making a note or two. After a while, he'd spend time looking through the newsreel machines. One day, a volunteer for the library noticed he had the page of the 1952 paper. He was staring at the picture of a sarcophagus, eyes slightly morbid. The volunteer asked what was the matter, the poor man almost jumped out of his skin. With a high-pitched babble, he assured the volunteer everything was quite all right. When Larry Daley left, the volunteer snuck a peak at the article he had been reading earlier. It was just about the addition of the mummy of Pharaoh Ahkmenrah and his sacred tablet. All it said was discoveries had been found supporting the conclusion that Ahkmenrah had died by violet means and that the museum in New York was going to do further research. The volunteer shrugged and turned off the machine.

**Caricaturist**

There was a sigh as Ahkmenrah folded the morning's paper. Larry snuck a peak at the Pharaoh. Ahkmenrah flicked his eyes over to the night watchmen and held up the crinkling papers. "I do not like the caricaturist who does these snippets in the back…"

"Why not?"

"What do you call an overweight, but attractive ancient Egyptian?" he inquired. Larry shook his head. Tossing the paper across the desk, he answered, "A Fair 'O'."

Larry couldn't help but burst into giggles at Ahkmenrah's aggravated scowl.

**Sloppiness**

Perhaps it was the sloppiness, but the way Ahkmenrah couldn't stop rummaging his hands over Larry's body left the guardian hypersensitive until he had his cold morning shower.

**Truckling**

It was revealed to Larry quite late in the game that Jed and Octavius had a betting pool going on about Ahkmenrah and Larry's relationship. Larry was not as secretive as he thought they were being. It was Jed who ratted them out, however, confessing with a grin that he and the Roman happened to be driving by when they saw Ahkmenrah and him in a corner. This did not upset Larry. It was silly to keep it hidden. The museum was a friendly and open group of exhibits that were shockingly tolerant once their differences were put aside… the upsetting part was Octavius and Jededaiah were putting down money on who was truckling! When Larry looked up the word, he felt like calling in sick the next night in embarrassment. On the bright side, everyone was voting for Ahkmenrah… Except Jed. But that's because it takes one to know one.

**Guilder**

Larry was napping, waiting for the last few stranglers to leave. Something cool touched his forehead, startling him, and the poor man jolted from his seat. A coin fell from his head. He stared at it, trying to figure out where it came from. The door clicked open, and those stranglers were leaving. He closed the door and locked it tight. As he went from room to room, making sure everything was secure, the sun went down. As always, the museum sprung to life. As the members of the building mingled, Larry tried to figure out where the damn coin came from. He bumped into Ahkmenrah along the way.

"Oomf!" Larry was down, sprawling on the ground, the coin rolling on its side and under a figurine stand. Frowning, Larry looked up accusingly, "You made me lose my coin."

"It's only a guilder," Ahkmenrah said. He offered his sun kissed hand to the guard on the floor. Larry's frown never disappeared, and he only stared at the offered appendage. With a sigh, the Pharaoh crooked his fingers suggestively, "Egyptian gold is far more enticing." The way the tanned hand was reflecting the lighting; Larry couldn't really argue that point.

**Fiat**

The night watchman was having a difficult day. His credit card was stolen, Nick's mom was on his case about talking to their son on staying overnight at the museum, he just got a ticket for jay-walking, and it seemed that the mini cowboy and Roman had gotten into a feud over _something_ and now split the miniatures into another battle. Larry barely fixed the commotion ("I assure you, Jededaiah, no one has been to my bedchambers, save you!" Octavius responded to Jed's furious fists with a strange declaration of loyalty—followed by a rather impressive lip-lock).

Hanging his head, Larry slid down a hallway wall, only to be found by Ahkmenrah a bit later. Ahkmenrah lifted the tired chin up, brushing chapped lips, murmuring, "Cheer up…"

Naturally, Ahkmenrah's fiat helped Larry do just that.

**Woofer**

Ahkmenrah was bouncing lightly in time with the song Nick chose that night. Larry was grinning adorably from ear to ear. It was too much temptation in that moment. Ahkmenrah snatched Larry's swaying hand and pulled the man closer, farther from the woofer, then twirled the night guard. Larry laughed openly, dancing blissfully, both of their bodies closing the gap remaining between them.

**Distinctiveness**

"No, this curve is too long," Ahkmenrah corrected, Teddy clapped Nick on the shoulder, commenting on the impressive improvement. Sacagawea sat crossed legged on the seat next to Larry. Both were watching as the preteen was desperately trying to write hieroglyphs.

"I don't get why," Larry said, chin in hands. The woman beside him seemed bemused.

"How do you not understand?" she inquired.

"For one, its mostly a dead language," Larry quieted down, "Even though it is sort of cool." Ahkmenrah peeked up beneath his swoop of dark hair. He smiled at Larry, who returned with a sheepish look. The Pharaoh returned to guiding Nick in his efforts of education.

"Children seek approval from their parents," Sacagawea hinted. Larry turned to her, tearing his eyes away from the Egyptian across the room.

"Huh?"

"The young Pharaoh has a distinctiveness about him. Nick has picked up on that," she indicated with a nod toward the group. Nick had swiveled out of the desk chair and was galloping to Larry, crowing happily about writing his own name in ancient Egyptian script. Larry pushed off the bench and met his son halfway to congratulate him. The native muttered, "Although it appears Larry is not as perceptive."

**Equalization**

The happiest day of Larry's life was a three-way tie—when Nick was born, when the equalization of the importance of individuals in the museum was realized, and when Ahkmenrah announced his love for the watchman.

**Lithography**

Ahkmenrah's last day walking the realm of the living went like this… He awoke, as all exhibits did at sundown. He threw his legs from his sarcophagus and took down his tablet from where it was set. He hid it in the place found so long ago. Ahkmenrah walked down the foyer to the front doors to the museum. Nick was waiting for him on the sidewalk outside. He turned from the doors, sweeping his eyes over the vast number of beings brought to life by his tablet. They did not stop him, and for that, he thanked them silently with a grateful nod of farewell. The Pharaoh pushed open the doors and trekked down the steps, feeling an emotion he had never quite felt before. Nick, the boy he watched grow into an adult so rapidly, held out an envelope. Ahkmenrah gingerly took it. The man had tears in his eyes, but Ahkmenrah could not give his condolences, for he felt the blow harder than any other person. The Egyptian left. He let whatever spirits of the night direct his feet. Finally, exhausted and far from the museum, Ahkmenrah collapsed. It was a cresting hill, a lone tree decorating the green grasses. He gazed up, seeing the glittering silver and concrete in the rising light of day—as pink as the blush Larry use to sport. Ahkmenrah unsealed his envelope. His fingers trembled as he read the lithograph like it was a prayer. LARRY DALEY—BELOVED BY ALL, MAY HE NOW WATCH OUT FOR US FROM ABOVE. Lightly, Ahkmenrah fingered Larry's name. He brought his eyes back up to that pink, pink sky. "Wait for me up there. I'm staying this time…" he whispered. Then sun rose, and golden light blossomed across the horizon. All that remained was the lithography of a tombstone.

**Serer**

Larry often imagined that Ahkmenrah, being from Egypt, was probably always a tad bit serer. It also never helped the imagery when the man would latch onto Larry and probe his mouth like a dehydrated man trying to claim the last droplets of water from his canteen.

**Stranglehold**

The poor guardian of antiquities was caught in a complete stranglehold… Ahkmenrah was young and virile and never took no for an answer. Oh well. Larry actually didn't mind all _that_ much.

**Pizzazz**

"Give those back!" the brunet hissed at the daring capuchin. Dexter was currently dangling Larry's keys outside a window. The poor guard felt his hands flex in an attempt to stare calm and not grab the monkey—capuchin. Dexter was a capuchin. "Dexter, I have some nice… uh… pudding snacks?"

Dexter seemed to contemplate the offer. Dropping the keys outside won out over chocolate treats. Larry dived after them with pizzazz, shouting out in glee when his pinky finger caught the cut string that use to tie the keys to his belt. The problem was the momentum of the dive literally launched Larry out of the open window. The glee soon turned to horror, as the ground was about to become his new friend.

That was, until a strong pair of hands clasped onto his right ankle, effectively redirecting his movement into a downward arch. Larry hit the bricks decorating the outside of the window, but luckily was now unable to fall to his doom. With a grunt he was swiftly pulled back inside the museum, not without some scrapes of course.

"What, pray tell, was that suicidal action for?" Ahkmenrah panted out, brows drawn in an angry V shape. What little Larry regained of his breath was promptly lost again at the look. Larry could only raise a finger to the chitterling monkey—capuchin—behind the two males. "That blasted creature…" was the ragged sigh. Ahkmenrah took Larry by the shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. "Perhaps you should consider calling for my assistance the next time this state of affairs arises, yes?"

"Yeah. Sure. O'course…" is what tumbles off of Larry's tongue. Ahkmenrah smiles genially and then leads the watchman away from the window, locking it firmly when Larry is not paying attention.

**Sepal**

Larry finally understood why making love was often used in euphemisms of opening the sepals of flower petals… Its one touch here that leads to that reaction which makes another flurry of running fingers trail there and then end in at the heart where this delicate source of all life dwells.

**Patois**

"In any case," Larry drabbled, and drabbled often. Ahkmenrah use to find such patois annoying, but for some particular reason, Larry Daley's was definitely lovable. That was most likely because Ahkmenrah was biased about the night guard though…

**Polythene**

Ahkmenrah liked the nights when the museum decided to be lazy. Larry would sit at the front kiosk, reading, scribbling something, or just watching the museum via the cameras he secretly installed in the building. Nick was there this night, holding out his homework to the Pharaoh, begging, "Please? I can't figure out this stuff for the life of me!"

"I do not know, Nicolas," Ahkmenrah replied, eyes traversing the papers with a cynical scrutiny, "I was never well versed in polythene…"

"Nick, c'mon," Larry said, bending his head back to his son. Ahkmenrah was unaware Larry had paid any attention to the two at his back. He was flattered more than he should have been. "Leave 'im alone. You bug him every time when you have homework. You got to learn to do your own… poly-polethe-plothena… your own science stuff."

"The American term is chemistry," Ahkmenrah said. Larry tilted his head like he could care less. Nick scoffed, going off somewhere in a corner to pout. The Pharaoh would let the boy simmer down before going to find him later. In the mean time, he entertained himself by watching the night guard on his favorite sort of night.

**Waterside**

Larry stood by the waterside, listening as the blue ocean lapped at silver sand gently. It felt like he had been waiting for millennia. Perhaps he had… His breath hitched when out in the distance, a soft golden light began to glow. Larry stepped closer in excitement, the chilled waters now splashing against his bare feet. "Ahkmenrah!" he called out, a smile growing. The white barge docked, and that robed figure was before him in the flesh once more. For a long moment both men stood, orbs roaming the other's body, making sure the other was truly safe and sound. When eyes met, it was as if they melted together, bodies colliding, refusing to be pried apart… and so it was whispered in the undying lands, "I shall never let you go again."

—END—


End file.
